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Lessons From the Mall

May 28, 2011

*Don’t even think about buying the same shoes your teen/pre-teen has picked out for herself.

*Don’t laugh when your child tries on shoes that are tied together.  Teen/pre-teen girls won’t find it funny.

*Don’t laugh when you try on shoes that are tied together.  Teen/pre-teen girls won’t find it funny.

*Don’t expect to make it out of the mall with just one item.  Shopping for gym shoes?  You’ll probably come home with gym shoes, a pair of pants, two shirts, and two pairs of flip-flops. 

*Let your child shop without making suggestions about what she might like.  Teen/pre-teen girls will not like ANYTHING you might pick out.

*Teen/pre-teen girls will want you to encourage anyone who may be tempted to buy them clothes to stick with the gift card instead.  Again, teen/pre-teen girls will not ANYTHING they didn’t pick out themselves.  (Grandparents, take note of this for any and all upcoming birthdays and holidays)

*Teen/pre-teen girls do not find it humorous that their 93 year old great-grandma likes to buy her jewelry at the same place they likes to shop.  Apparently great-grandmas should not be shopping at any store that ends in “21”. 

*You will not be permitted to even think about buying your 93 year old grandma a giant ring from a store that ends in “21” (see note above).

*Do not attempt to compliment your teen/pre-teen.  She will not want to hear how cute she is or how nice those jeans look on her. 

*If in doubt, walk a minimum of 3 feet behind your teen/pre-teen and have your credit card handy.   Do not speak unless spoken to.  And never, ever look them in the eye. 

You’re welcome.

Oh, and a quick note to my teen/pre-teen friends:  If it takes two friends to zip you into a dress, there’s a good chance that dress isn’t for you.  I’m just sayin’.

Oh the things you see while waiting outside the dressing room!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. May 28, 2011 11:11 pm

    I want to add a witty comment, but I’m too busy chuckling to come up with one. :)

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