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Fighting with Teens About Not Fighting with Teens

March 14, 2012

Yesterday after school Nick reminded me that I owed him some money.  I told him that I needed to get some cash.  He said he was gonna start charging me interest for not paying.  I told him I was gonna start deducting money for days he doesn’t do his chores.  He insists he does his chores everyday.  I insist he doesn’t.  How else do you explain the dirty clothes all over his bedroom floor?  If picking up dirty clothes doesn’t fall under the “laundry” category of his chore list, it would still fall under the “pick up your room” category. 

Anyhoo…

Near the end of this conversation, Tay tells us to stop fighting.  We weren’t fighting.  We were simply having a lively conversation.  She says we fight all the time.

Hmm… 

I have a confession to make. 

Are you sitting down?

I am not a perfect mother.

(gasp)

I know.

The truth is I have been known to fight with Nick.  I don’t really fight with Tay.  That’s not her style.  Nick, on the other hand…  That kid seems to love a good fight.  So there have been times over the past few years where we have fought.  And I hate it.  I’m not a fighter.  Brian and I don’t fight (that’s the truth even if you don’t believe it!) so why am I fighting with my kid?  Because he pushes all the right buttons and he can argue a point like no one’s business. 

I read an awesome parenting book that totally changed my thinking on dealing with Nick and the fighting.  And things have gotten so much better.  We have very few fights these days.  At least that’s what I thought until yesterday.

So, when Tay says we fight all the time I disagree with her….

Me:  We don’t fight all the time.

Tay:  Yes, you do.

Nick:  We do fight all the time.

Me:  No we don’t, we have in the past but we hardly fight at all anymore.

Nick:  Yes, we do.

Me.  No, we don’t.

Nick:  Yes, we do.

Me:  Are you seriously starting a fight about how much we fight.

LOL!  We may fight but we also choose to see the laughter in things so we were able to laugh about this! 

I declared that we would NOT fight and that we would love & treasure one another.  And that I would speak softly like Michelle Duggar from that point on. 

For some reason they’re not in favor of that.  It’s a good thing because I’m not sure I could pull it off. 

Now, where did I put that parenting book?  I think I need to reread the chapter on fighting with your teen.  And surely there’s a chapter on getting teens to pick up their dirty clothes!

P.S.  Had this been a real fight I would not have blogged about it.  I try to be honest and open here on the old blog but would never post something that would make one of my kids feel bad.  They know when something is “blog worthy” and they’re usually okay with it!

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